Not long ago, I came across a book on a clearance rack at my local Barnes and Noble for a buck...so I bought it. I skimmed over it and placed it on a shelf. Life got insanely busy after that and I never paid it any attention...until last night.
It'd just gotten home from Christmas Eve at my Mom's house. I'd just gotten done taking a shower and making a pot of coffee. I'd just gotten done talking to my daughter before she trooped off to bed.
I just sat there...
staring at my Christmas tree...
nothing else illuminated...
I love that. It's cozy.
I decided to grab a book and read till I felt drowsy.
The book I grabbed happened to be the one I skimmed all those many months ago. The title of it is If...(Questions for the Game of Life)
I actually don't like the book all that much. It's a compilation of "If" questions meant to spark the imagination and conversation. A lot of the "ifs" are goofy and some are downright odd and I wonder about the folks from whose minds they originated...having said that; I like the concept. I sort of picture a Dinner Party where questions which are normally taboo at the table are open for discussion. Lively discussion... using the questions from the book as the impetus for debate.
I hail from a family who eagerly speak their mind and who eagerly offer up their opinions on a broad range of subjects. This can be good or bad, depending on the time and place, but last night...it seemed to be good. There were several dinner guests who lingered at the table after dessert and who engaged one another in everything from politics to religion to sports to cars to doctors to how to raise children to.....you name it! And because it wasn't a run of the mill after dinner chat; the circle of participants began to widen over time until all but the children were drawn in.
The topic of sex was not broached last night as that is usually reserved for non-coed gatherings. And really, during our family get togethers it has never been deemed an appropriate subject.
This blog is not a family gathering (thankfully) and I deem the subject of sex to be highly appropriate (with limitations of course) and so I'd like to use questions from the book to stimulate blog topics from time to time. That's not to say that all of the questions will be sexual in nature, but some will surely be.
"IF...you could have changed one thing about your first sexual experience, what would it be?"
My Answer: I would have changed my age, for sure. I was 18 and had been going with this guy for a while. I didn't want to "do it" and he was putting the pressure on big time (driven with a whip by his hormones, I'm sure!) He was a little older than me and I was not ready for what would happen to me emotionally after that encounter. I don't think I could have been prepared. Actually, each sexual experience brings with it a unique set of emotional dynamics, but the "first...is the wirst". lol.
At that time, I was of the mind that to have sex with a guy meant you were very serious and to be very serious meant you were in love and to be in love meant a future together.
I found out that having sex was the worst thing I could have done (especially in the back of his '68 Cougar) It ruined everything! Even though it brought the two of us closer together; it also brought in a lot of seriousness which neither of us really wanted, or for that matter, needed. So, it brought us closer together while simultaneously pulling us further apart.
On a more positive note and if you've read where I wrote about tampons...then you'll understand when I say that after having sex for the first time, I was finally able to insert the damn things!